8legs: Mojave desert, usa

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‘I can’t… goodbye… I love you,’ he slurred. I never heard the gunshot, just his screams. He wanted me to hear everything.’: Widow resorts to post-loss drinking, sex binges to cope with husband’s suicide, realizes he ‘wasn’t the monster mental illness made him out to be’

Michelle Miller details the night her husband John spoke by phone as he died by suicide, emphasizing the emotional sequence that ended their marriage.
The widow describes the long aftermath, including social media backlash and personal struggles with grief, drinking, and dependency.
Miller eventual sobriety led to a career shift, including work as a funeral service director and publishing memoirs about loss.
Miller emphasizes that healing does not erase grief but requires accepting loss and continuing forward with life.
The article highlights that Miller directs funerals with honesty, avoiding platitudes toward the bereaved.
The piece notes Miller’s advocacy for open discussion of grief and sharing personal journeys to help others cope.
Miller’s books, including Boys, Booze, and Bathroom Floors, resonated with readers seeking unconventional mourning paths.
Miller continues to shape her life around service, including a mortuary career and public speaking on grief.
Miller states she has not remarried and continues to process loss while guiding others through similar journeys.

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